Hey David,
I think that one thing to consider is that everyone has very different usage. Take for example two JIRA instances which we operate at Atlassian: https://jira.atlassian.com/ and https://support.atlassian.com/ Each are large instances, with large numbers of issues, and large user counts which are active throughout the day. However, activity in Support tends to be a balance of read and write operations because of the nature of the content. On the flip side, JIRA is mostly a read only instance. To ensure that each one performs well, we need to tune the environments to their specific needs.
I would start by looking at the minimum requirements for each of the products you are using, and just tallying those up. Annecdotally, I can tell you that customers with your user count tend to run fine on our per product default values. Of course, there are exceptions when people integrate scripts and other automation which results in higher than normal load.
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